Behind the Design - The Hole

This design is pretty simple.  A take on the monopoly Chance card.  When I worked the floor I was known for having a "few sayings" and this was one of them.  I told quite a few inmates that they were going directly to the hole and will not pass go or collect their commissary.  Good times.

You can get this shirt at

http://correctionstees.onlineshirtstores.com/shop/product/1228253

Behind the Design - Cell Extraction King

I have often been asked how do you come up with our your designs.  So I thought it would be fun to give you all behind the scenes look and thinking of how some of our best selling designs come about.

I would love to tell you that I light some candles, set on the floor in forward lending dog and deeply ponder on the space time continuum then slowly piece together the abstract colors and mood motivations to form the perfect design.

Sorry, it is lot more simple.  Things literally pop in my head.  If I am luck I am near a computer or piece of paper.  So I am doing one thing that I truly excel at, watching cornucopias amount of television.  You see I grow up as a latch key kid being babysat by Captain Kirk, The Skipper and Mr. Flintstone.  So one day I am in the ready position on the couch (Al Bundy is my personal hero!) and a Burger King commercial came on.  You know the kind of creepy ones with the guy in the BK King costume.  This of course provided me a flash back to Marine Corps boot camp.  I can still clearly see SSgt Singerhouse yelling in to my pimple covered face, “This is not Burger King, your not going to get it your way!”

That is it, the cosmoses had spoken.  So I found the BK logo and font, swapped out Burger King and replaced it with Cell Extraction.  Bam lighting has struck! 

If you have a great idea for a new design, send us an email:

john@correctionstees.com

What if Chuck Norris was a Correctional Officer?

Here is a collection of fan submissions to that very question.  Enjoy the Round House to the dome!

• An inmate tried to shank CO Norris but the shank broke!
• Chuck Norris once broke up a prison riot by clearing his throat.
• If Chuck Norris was a CO he could handle the entire facility himself with just the glare of his eye and the raise of his hand.
• When Chuck Norris walks on a range even the bugs lock up.
• When Chuck Norris is there the inmates strip search themselves
• When Chuck Norris walks the rock, it trembles too!
• When an inmate demands from the unit officer to speak to a shift supervisor... the unit officer informs the inmate that its Chuck Norris who is on duty. The inmate quickly changes he tune stating "never mind", and locks up without a word.
• You would no longer need rifles and gas in the towers just norris on a big screen
• Inmate attacks on CO Chuck Norris are immediately relayed as a Code 10-56: SUICIDE.
• If chuck norris was a co mustaches would be mandatory
• If Chuck Norris were a CO, executions wouldn't be scheduled, they would be spontaneous.
• If Chuck Norris was a CO, cell extractions would not exist, just a roundhouse through the door.
• When Chuck Norris stands in morning muster, he stands alone.
• Chuck Norris solved recidivism by putting on a uniform
• Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three types of Force: too much, enough to gain compliance and Chuck Norris.
• If Chuck Norris was a CO we wouldn't need doors. He would SLAM inmates.
• If Chuck Norris was a C.O., there would be no crime, thus no Chuck Norris as a C.O.
• If Chuck Norris were a CO, then inmates wouldn't file grievances, they would file thank yous...
• If chuck norris were a CO... There wouldn't be a C-SORT!! They would call in the C-Norris! :D
• Chuck Norris uses inmates as batons.
• If Chuck Norris were a warden, he would answer every grievance... with a round house.
• Chuck Norris has been known to teach defensive tactics to inmates, so he has a challenge, sadly he is always disappointed.
• Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a prison wall in a game of hand ball.
• Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
• “Brokeback Mountain” is not just a movie. It’s also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead inmates after a riot.
• Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
• CO Chuck Norris uses Pepperballs as a breath mints
• CO Chuck Norris uses Sting Ball grenades to clean his ears
• CO Chuck Norris put King Kong in the restraint chair by himself
• CO Chuck Norris uses razor wire for floss
• CO Chuck Norris gave all the inmates a weekend furlough, and they all came back on Saturday.
• CO Chuck Norris uses the deadly electric fence to do chin ups.
• At CO Chuck Norris' facility they don't have a security fence, only pictures of his face  Help get the word out about this blog, email, post or tweet!

What is the point of this blog!

That is a great question.  Over the last two years I have been working really hard to build up a little company called Corrections Tees.  Corrections Tees was developed for one reason, to give Correctional Officers a place to buy t-shirts that are based on the crazy world they work in.  There were plenty of places to get Police and Fire shirts but not Corrections.

 See, too often Correctional Officers are not given any respect for the job they do.  Don't believe me.  Google "Correctional Officer" in the news section and all you will see is news about the bad things CO's do.  That is the major problem working in the place were no one sees what you do.  It is like working in the sewer.  No one gives a damn until there is shit all over the streets or Mary Jane can not flush her toilet. 

So why the blog?  One of the interesting things that has happen since I started peddling my t-shirts is I have gotten a chance to interact with all sort of fine men and women that do this crazy job.  The more I interacted with them, the more I see there is a very interesting story to tell.  While most people would find reading about the job of a sewer working would be like watching paint dry.  The real stories of CO's are much more interesting, funny, crazy and sad. While we have been getting some play on TV with a bunch of "Lock Up" shows, they do not really spend much time getting the back story about the officer, they usually spend a ton of time telling how Joey got popped for breaking and entering and how he is going to adjust to his new surroundings.  

Couple of things I hope to do with this little blog.

- Sell more shirts! Or at least tell you my crazy thinking about some of our designs.  Hey Momma needs a new pair of shoes and being furloughed three days a month does not help.

- Share funny stories and insights into the weird world that Correctional Officers work in.

- Rant.  I have some strong views on certain subjects.  Like which Star Wars movie was the best...Empire Strikes Back...everyone knows that.

- Exchange information about the job.  You can never know enough about all the various uses an inmate can find for toilet paper.  Give them a truck full and they could have stopped the oil spill in the gulf!

- Laugh at stuff that most people would say would be way wrong on the PC scale.  Sorry general public, until you have patted down a Hells Angle wearing a thong, you have no real point of reference, so you should just move on to another blog.

- Make you smile!