What if Chuck Norris was a Correctional Officer?

Here is a collection of fan submissions to that very question.  Enjoy the Round House to the dome!

• An inmate tried to shank CO Norris but the shank broke!
• Chuck Norris once broke up a prison riot by clearing his throat.
• If Chuck Norris was a CO he could handle the entire facility himself with just the glare of his eye and the raise of his hand.
• When Chuck Norris walks on a range even the bugs lock up.
• When Chuck Norris is there the inmates strip search themselves
• When Chuck Norris walks the rock, it trembles too!
• When an inmate demands from the unit officer to speak to a shift supervisor... the unit officer informs the inmate that its Chuck Norris who is on duty. The inmate quickly changes he tune stating "never mind", and locks up without a word.
• You would no longer need rifles and gas in the towers just norris on a big screen
• Inmate attacks on CO Chuck Norris are immediately relayed as a Code 10-56: SUICIDE.
• If chuck norris was a co mustaches would be mandatory
• If Chuck Norris were a CO, executions wouldn't be scheduled, they would be spontaneous.
• If Chuck Norris was a CO, cell extractions would not exist, just a roundhouse through the door.
• When Chuck Norris stands in morning muster, he stands alone.
• Chuck Norris solved recidivism by putting on a uniform
• Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three types of Force: too much, enough to gain compliance and Chuck Norris.
• If Chuck Norris was a CO we wouldn't need doors. He would SLAM inmates.
• If Chuck Norris was a C.O., there would be no crime, thus no Chuck Norris as a C.O.
• If Chuck Norris were a CO, then inmates wouldn't file grievances, they would file thank yous...
• If chuck norris were a CO... There wouldn't be a C-SORT!! They would call in the C-Norris! :D
• Chuck Norris uses inmates as batons.
• If Chuck Norris were a warden, he would answer every grievance... with a round house.
• Chuck Norris has been known to teach defensive tactics to inmates, so he has a challenge, sadly he is always disappointed.
• Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a prison wall in a game of hand ball.
• Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
• “Brokeback Mountain” is not just a movie. It’s also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead inmates after a riot.
• Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
• CO Chuck Norris uses Pepperballs as a breath mints
• CO Chuck Norris uses Sting Ball grenades to clean his ears
• CO Chuck Norris put King Kong in the restraint chair by himself
• CO Chuck Norris uses razor wire for floss
• CO Chuck Norris gave all the inmates a weekend furlough, and they all came back on Saturday.
• CO Chuck Norris uses the deadly electric fence to do chin ups.
• At CO Chuck Norris' facility they don't have a security fence, only pictures of his face  Help get the word out about this blog, email, post or tweet!